So, you're asking what took me so long to get to this topic
for this ongoing series. My answer is simple. It's too easy. Men and women are different. Yes, I repeat that in every column
in this series, but it bears repeating. Perhaps there's no more stark a difference than in how we approach sexuality and how
we practice/act upon our sexual needs and urges.
start off with something that is probably guaranteed to get me accused of being a homophobic, though nothing could be further
from the truth. I'm simply stating a fact that the gay community will imputably verify. Homosexual men have many more partners
- other men - than both straight men and gay or straight women. And, gay women have fewer partners than heterosexual women.
In fact, the actual numbers dramatically underscore the assertion that male sexuality, if unchecked, tends to be much more
promiscuous than female sexuality.
you're sighing, let's plunge the dagger in further with my usual generalizations and stereotypes which, unlike the fact stated
in the previous paragraph, are taken more from this man's life experiences and observations. My usual disclaimer about generalizations
is that they are just that, generalizations --which means they apply much of the time, not all the time.
Men can make love to a shoe
Why are there dozens of Playboy-like magazines and virtually
nothing similar that women buy? Their vice of choice, as it regards magazines, might be Vogue or Cosmopolitan because women
have different interests. When it comes to sex, men are visually stimulated and drawn. And yes, some men could make love to
a shoe while most women would just like to buy the right ones.
Women actually care if their sexual partner has a brain
Yes, women care what a man has to say, what he does, and how he treats her. Yes, there
is the bad-boy thing that some women embrace, but a man can have a "trophy wife" and care little about what's inside
that gorgeous exterior. Henry Kissinger appealed to women; Margaret Thatcher did not appeal to men.
Men often attach little emotion to a sexual encounter
I've taught my boys that there are emotional consequences to
having sex with a girl. That is because most boys and men can move on to "what's for dinner" or "I'm thirsty"
after making love while most women would like to talk and cuddle. The stereotype of a man not calling a woman the day after
love-making isn't because the man is a dolt, it may simply be that he didn't attach as much emotion to the love-making encounter.
Women often attach lots of emotion
to a sexual encounter
Why do women
try to delay that first sexual intercourse (meant literally and figuratively)? It is less because they are protecting their
virtue or want sex less than the man, but because they know how that sort of intimacy affects them. This is a biological reality.
Whatever is released upon sexual relations in a woman is far more powerful than it is in a man.
If a man could get away with it - with NO risk of being found out and NO risk of disease - he
would cheat on his partner
doesn't say much for the male gender, but it's only the fear of getting caught, perhaps faith, and the cost of divorce that
prevents most men from straying.
A good question
to ask yourself is this. Who is your absolute fantasy lover? Pick a movie or sports star, or whomever. If you could have one
night with that person, with NO RISK of getting caught or catching any STD, would you do it?
I say most men would say a resounding "You BET," while a smaller
percentage of women would say "Yes."
it's all working, men are much easier to satisfy than women
Again, making men look like simpletons isn't really hard when it comes to certain things and sex
is near the top of that list! Without going "R," I think most men and women would agree that the biology and mechanics
of men are pretty darn simple. Heck, it sticks out there for the world to see or at least it should at the appropriate time.
A woman is much more mysterious. In fact, a man needs to be more
caring and focused to please his woman than the reverse. How ironic.
We both do better in our sexual lives when we express ourselves candidly
Again, this is a mystery but I suspect communication about sex
and our individual needs is equally poor between men and women. However, women will at least talk to their girlfriends about
"problems" and/or read about them. Most men would rather get water-boarded than admit any shortcomings. The mystery
is why both sexes are so reluctant to express themselves since most of the time, those declarations result in more satisfaction
for both partners.
This blog series is getting
more fun to write. I welcome your contrary thoughts, certainly your agreements, and any suggestions for future series topics.
Bruce Sallan's second book is an e-book only
- "The Empty-Nest Road Trip Blues: An Interactive Journal from A Dad's Point-of-View" - and costs a whopping $2.79 for PDF
and $2.99 on Amazon/Kindle. It's a travelogue, an emotional father-son story, and it contains 100 photos and 7 original videos.
Bruce is also the author of "A Dad's Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation" and radio host of "The Bruce Sallan Show - A Dad's Point-of-View." He gave up a long-term showbiz
career to become a stay-at-home-dad. He has dedicated his new career to becoming THE Dad advocate. He carries out his mission
with not only his book and radio show, but also his column "A Dad's Point-of-View", syndicated in over 100 newspapers
and websites worldwide, his "I'm NOT That Dad" vlogs, the "Because I Said So" comic strip, and his dedication
to his community on Facebook and Twitter. Join Bruce and his extensive community
each Thursday for #DadChat, from 6-7pm PST, the Tweet Chat that Bruce hosts.