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Infertility Emotions Over the Holidays

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With the holidays quickly approaching, it is time to reflect on what the year has brought us. My children bring a level of joy to my life that I never really knew before and cannot imagine living without. We all know how difficult raising a child can be; the demands on your time; the demands on your finances; the demands on your emotions, but wouldn't have it any other way, as I, am a mom.

Saying and feeling this way about my family is what it is supposed to feel like. It may sound a little cliche, but it is what keeps me going, keeps me focused and keeps me striving to be better, both for them as well as myself.

Having said that, I also realize just how lucky I am to have all of these things in my life, and how whole they make me feel, every day. But what about those of you out there who have tried and tried for years to get pregnant. Through no fault of your own, you simply can't get there. I know the joys first hand of being pregnant and also know several friends and acquaintances who have struggled with infertility. 

This time we share a story of emotions during Christmas. Cassandra shared the following for WonderMoms - 

"Its that time of the year again, when colored lights twinkle in the dark night, carols are played on the radio and our mouths water at the thought of all the tasty treats that are enjoyed during the holiday season. For some people however there is a less then wonderful side to the holidays, For those dealing with infertility Christmas can be a sad and painful time. Traditionally Christmas has been a family and children's holiday with the best part of the entire event being the look on your childs face when they see that Santa has visited and left them all of the things on their list but for those without children it can be a painful reminder that perhaps they will never experience that part of the holiday.

Christmas is also a time for family gatherings when its entirely likely that a well meaning family member will ask the question that every fertility challenged woman dreads.... "when are you going to get pregnant", nothing ruins a family dinner more then hiding in the bathroom to cry alone.

The financial aspect of the holidays is also a challenge when you are working diligently to save the thousands of dollars that a single round of IVF costs.... not participating in the Christmas season is an option I suppose, but that is like laying down and letting infertility win.

Without a doubt for a few days after Christmas many of those who are struggling to become parents will go into self preservation mode, they will log off Facebook and Twitter because the emotions that will come from seeing all of the pictures and comments will be too much. The joy that others experience will be a reminder of their failures, their hearts will ache with what they are missing. Thats not to say that they are not happy for those around them, its just that they are sad for themselves.... its a complicated mess of emotions.

Every woman trying to become a mom has a dream at Christmas.... to announce to her partner on Christmas morning that they are going to be parents, to lay a sleeping newborn on Santas lap or to buy that little red sleeper that says baby's first Christmas.

Each dream is individual but everyone has one and each Christmas that passes the hope that next year will be THE year remains strong.
So this year after the boxes have been ripped open and the excitement has cooled down count your blessings in a humble way and understand that for some the only thing that they wished for is the ability to survive the season with their hearts unbroken and their sanity intact." 

 

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Infertility has, and always will be sort of a self regulated taboo topic. But it does not have to be that way. There are more people affected by it than you think. That is why WonderMoms is enjoying the relationship with Conceivable Dreams.

They are committed to bringing a healthy, open and honest conversation to the masses. In addition, Conceivable Dreams is trying to bring awareness to government. In-vitro fertilization (IVF), a process that aids infertile couples with pregnancy is very expensive and in some cases out of reach for the average couple.

So often, the process causes couples to take matters into their own hands. Many feel that with the costs involved, they only have one shot at it. They tend to inject several eggs in hopes that one will be lucky enough to do the trick. There are many possible side effects in doing it that way. In a lot of cases, multiple births take place. In cases where twins, triplets or more are expected, you can also expect additional health concerns. Decreased birth weights, respiratory issues, or birth defects and disease. Feeling those additional pressures cannot be healthy for the mom-to-be or dad for that matter. The whirlwind of emotions can be attributed to the added stress.

Conceivable Dreams is intent on getting the Ontario governments attention in hopes for funding IVF treatments. It has been proven in provinces like Quebec and Alberta to be instrumental in reducing both, the overall costs related to IVF as well as the number of multiple births and birth defects and illness. We all know of the agenda's that governments tend to push. I don't think that IVF is on their radar, so it is high time we made them aware of what infertile couples really need. Life altering assistance at a time in their lives when having a family is on our radar. Time is of the essence for many couples, as their biological clocks are ticking.

I would urge everyone who knows of a friend or family member affected by infertility to ask their local politician for their assistance in getting this point across to those in power. After all, the politicians are elected by us, for us and that should count for something.

For those of you struggling to get pregnant, my heart and best wishes are always with you. Good luck and happy holidays.

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Disclosure: I am a valued member of the Conceivable Dreams blog team.